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She Would Have Been 90

marty mom 2004
My mom and I in April 2004


Today would have been my mom’s 90th birthday. She passed away in April 2006 due to melanoma. If that would not have taken her, I would be calling her today. It would go something like the following:

She would first ask me how I was. I would tell her “Alright… just heading to work here soon.” She could tell in my voice that I dreaded going in and would tell me to be grateful I had a job as there were so many that didn’t.

I would then ask her if she got my card [she loved cards] which she would say how beautiful it was and the words were very thoughtful. She would say how much getting cards means to her and how when she checked the mail two days ago, that she was happy to see the bright yellow envelope with my name in the return address.

Then we would talk politics for a bit, with her calling most politicians “crooks.” I would politely agree with her while she snuck into the conversation how she missed Reagan and that she got to meet him and how she supported Bob Dornan years ago, who was over Garden Grove.

I would tell her how cold it is here today [12 degrees at noon] and she would remind me to take my Vitamin C and dress warm and make sure to cover my head as that’s how colds start.

I would then ask her if she had plans to go anywhere. She would respond that her friend would be taking her to Denny’s for an early dinner. She would have rather gone to Baker’s Square on Harbor Blvd, but they went out of business several years ago.

After more chatting, we would end our call with her reminding me of who I am [a phrase that is related to her religious beliefs] and then saying our goodbyes.

No emails. No e-cards and no JibJab videos. Just a phone call between a mom and her son on her birthday.

Forgive me if I’m a bit melancholy as I write this.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved


  1. Sarah says:

    Sounds like it would have been a lovely conversation between the two of you and would have made her very happy :)

  2. Our mother’s share the same birthday. Mine turned 74 today. I’ve already spoken to her once today to wish her a Happy Birthday.

    Gonna call her again this evening. Yeah…

  3. kapgar says:

    Be as melancholy as you need to be, my friend. Loss is never easy and it never truly gets easier. I’m sorry for your loss. But glad that you have good memories.

    Happy birthday to your mom.

  4. Jo Turpin says:

    What a good article Marty … Also a good picture of you and your Mom. Happy 90th to her and peace to you ~

  5. kilax says:

    Aww, love this recap of the convo with your mom. :) *hugs*

  6. i so get this. so much so that i really can’t comment.
    i’ll just say i hate that our moms aren’t here for the familiar conversations.
    but i am thankful for your momma.

  7. A phone call between mother and son sounds perfect and would have made her day.

  8. Karl says:

    Aw, man, a belated birthday wish to your Mom.

  9. martymankins says:

    Thank you all, for your kind and thoughtful comments.

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