And Now He Only Eats Guitars

Jesus Guitar
Rapture…. Who wants an encore?
Original photo found at okjimm’s eggroll

Lyrically continuing what Karl started.

The Rapture is coming! The Rapture is coming! It’s true. Some guy interviewed on the news says it’s true.

may 21 billboard
Original photo found at Snapshots of Glory
Again? You mean I missed his first visit?

Plus there are billboards talking about the pending date. And it involves math somehow? Guess it all adds up. So it’s all happening on May 21st, 2011. That’s this Saturday. Oh shit… so much to do… so much I’ve not done yet…. now where did I put that list….

  • Make $12 million dollars
  • Go on vacation to Myrtle Beach
  • Make out with Cindy Crawford

google adsense violation
To see original image, click here: http://www.banalleakage.com/images/cindy-crawford-model.jpg

  • Pick up 2 gallons of vodka
  • Meet John Cusack and tell him that I am his doppelgänger

John Cusack

  • Purchase a Nissan LEAF electric car
  • Take trip to Europe and the UK
  • Get propane for BBQ on Sunday

As you can tell from my list, there’s a few things that I’ve done yet. Fuck… Not enough time…

Oh wait… what am I rushing around for?

rapture
Original photo found at Quiet Atheist

It’s not going to happen, just like the many predictions before that never came to fruition. But even if it did happen, as a non-believer, I would have been left behind, which means I can have that BBQ on Sunday and drink that large sum of vodka. And get to take a future trip to Europe and still have a chance to make that $12 million. And eventually get my LEAF.

And all thanks to one guy….

Buddy Christ
Buddy Christ

Thanks, B.C. – for knowing the real deal on the end of days. And for giving us heathens more time to live life.

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