2024 – Rebuilding My Life

marty
Niagara Falls Skyweheel – 09/06/2022

The shocked look on my face above was how I looked and felt last May when I had my relationship ended after almost 22 years. Since my last update on where I am at, there are some details that have presented themselves in the last few months that have been both good and difficult to learn. I will go into as much detail as possible here.

It was the start to a life rebuild – just a few months shy of me turning 60.

Moving On

I have now been at this rental house for almost 9 months and will be moving to another place in 3 more months. I can’t wait. The landlord rented the upstairs to his niece on December 1st. She has two large pitbulls that thunder around on the hardwood floor that covers the entirety of the upstairs. And having a shared kitchen is a pain the ass. Her and her boyfriend [who visits every day and night] cook so much that it makes it hard to get cooking time for my meals. My cat Forrest and I have had a lot of anxiety since she moved in. So with just a bit more than 3 months left here, that is giving me that “light at the end of the tunnel” relief to get into our own place.

Hindsight and Revealing Details

My separated wife and I have had some productive talks over the last 90 days – mostly going over the timeline of the last 5 years and how our relationship broke down. I have taken ownership of the things I did and didn’t do that contributed to the ending, but I have learned the details that happened when my step daughter moved back into her house in October 2020 and how my wife never pushed back on her and the concern of disrupting our living situation, which prompted me to go live in my friends basement for 8 months. I had suspected that nothing was said and I was right. Her response was “well, it is her house” which I get that part, but it would have been better to have had her address our relationship as a concern directly to her daughter.

And the fact that I didn’t get any support with me working on my mental health issues and working to reduce my daily over drinking that I was doing to help numb the pain was another breakdown. I was hoping that the one part in our marriage vows “for better and for worse” would have had some meaning. They obviously didn’t.

We are still mostly civil, but learning the various details from our talks have really caused me to focus on what both of us could have done differently and where we could have been more vocal to each other about how we felt with these life disruptions.

Life Rebuild

So here I am, getting ready to move for a 4th June in a row and hoping there will be some better progress ahead. My therapist continues to be a great help in guiding my life into a more productive state. I will post another update as the move to my own place gets closer and happens.

4 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.