The current top dog in the GOP race for president is Governor Rick Perry of Texas. In just a matter of weeks, he’s propelled himself from a prayer leader to the front runner with a double digit lead. His popularity seems unstoppable, even with his recent debatable gaffe. But he’s a divider, catering only to those who believe like him. And just like every other politician out there, he’s got his share of questionable policies he’s supported.

But all is not lost. There are other Perry’s out there that would make a better candidate. Let me present them to you.

Katy Perry

Katy Perry
Katy Perry

What American wouldn’t want a candidate that can shoot whipped cream from their boobs? All we need is some strawberry pie and a promise of confetti for everyone and we’ve got a candidate that won’t need permission to use the song “Firework” cause she sang it.

Joe Perry

Joe Perry
Joe Perry from Aerosmith

The glue that holds Aerosmith together. With Steve Tyler doing his own thing and making smarmy comments on American Idol, this guitarist can prove he’s got what it takes to “put the band back together” Exactly what this country needs.

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry

Um, No!

Perry (from Phineas and Ferb)

Perry
Perry the Platypus

If the Olympics can have a cartoon mascot to unite the world together, why not a cartoon as the leader of the free world? I say a vote for this Perry is a ticket to success. Or at least make people feel better about the platypus.

Steve Perry

Steve Perry
Steve Perry taken in 2009

Long since retired as the lead singer of Journey, Steve may be an option, but I have my doubts considering how much out of spotlight he’s been for a good 15 years now. Of course, that could all change if Gov. Perry decides to use “Don’t Stop Believin'” as his campaign song. Then Steve might just come out and declare his anger over such misuse of one of his songs.