Banal Leakage » cats

I’m Not Good At Dealing With Loss

martymankins — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:55:42 +0000

I admit. I don’t handle loss very well.

For the longest time, it was any kind of loss. As a kid, losing a favorite toy at the grocery store is still a memory that’s burned into my brain [in fact, I am picturing the exact spot at the Lucky supermarket in 1971, where I last saw my little red truck that I was playing with - odd, huh?]. For years, losing various physical items would reduce me to a fit of obsession, looking for said lost item. Fortunately, I’ve been able to better manage how I deal with losing an inanimate object. For example, in August of 2000, I left my Toshiba Libretto on the UTA Trax train when I worked downtown. While I miss the non-replaceable photos and other data, I dealt with the physical loss very well, moving on quickly.

When it comes to humans and pets, I don’t deal well at all. I learn to adjust, but it takes more time to fully realize someone or some creature is gone. I’ve been reassured this is a good thing, because it means I care. But the pain of losing a loved one is never easy.

As those of you that follow me on Twitter and Facebook know, my wife and I had to put our oldest cat down yesterday. Tigress would have been 20 years old on Memorial Day.

Tigress – Queen of the Bed and Blanket

Not even two weeks previous, we had to put down our 17-year-old cat, Princess Maggie.

Maggie – Parked in the driveway

Losing two feline companions in less than two weeks is hard. Both were somewhat unexpected, as both age and physical problems caused their health to decline quickly.

Going from 4 to 1

Up until last July, we had four cats. Our first to pass away was Mamma Kitty, who was 20 years old.

Mamma says, “My chair”

Losing three cats in eight months has taken a toll on me. While I’ve not known them their entire lives, I’ve spent almost eight years with them and getting very attached. I’ve always been a cat person and when my wife and I first met, that was one of her criterias for a partner.

An Entire Lifetime

But knowing someone your entire life and losing them is hard, as my wife has experienced with the cats and as I did when my mom passed away in April 2006, losing her battle with melanoma cancer at the age of 83.

Both my mom and I loved the beach – her at Newport Beach, CA in 2002

This past Monday was three years since she died and while time has helped to ease the pain of not having her around, I still have vivid memories of her and still get emotional when presented with thoughts and wishing I could call her again to share what’s going on in my life.

And for me, there lies one of the main reasons I don’t deal with loss. I miss being with those I care for and love. I miss snuggling with the cats or driving to California and hearing my mom tell her experiences. Call it selfish, but once those people and animals are gone, those times are gone, too.

I’ll get past this dark period of loss, and once I do, I know at least I’ll have the memories of pets I’ve grown close to. I leave you one final photo of our remaining cat: Rocko. May he live for a good while longer. This fragile and caring heart can’t take another loss anytime soon.

Rocko – King of the Deck

Scooter Sunday #20

martymankins — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 22:17:54 +0000

It’s time for another edition of Scooter Sunday, back in Salt Lake this weekend, celebrating Labor Day [a national holiday here in the states]. Have I really done 20 of these so far?

Riding Days

I’m doing all I can to ride my scooter as much as I can before Utah’s weather turns too cold to ride. If past years have shown any sort of pattern, there will be various good weather days until the first week of November that will be considered scooter friendly.

Park The Car

It will be one week tomorrow (Monday) that I have not driven my car. The car has sat in the driveway for seven days [I did have to go start it today so I don't go out to a drained battery the next time I need it]. I kind of miss driving it, mostly for the Sirius radio I have installed, so I can listen to the commercial-free music channels and Howard Stern. But I have all winter to listen. For now, it’s scooter time.

“Don’t forget, I can hold more than one passenger”

Scooter Storage

As some of my Twitter posts have mentioned, I use my scooter for small trips to the store and other errands, as long as I keep my list to items that can fit under the seat.

Ready for the goods

As you can see, there’s some decent room in there.

I wear my helmet almost every time I ride. For short rides to go get air in my tires or to run over to my step daughter’s house, I sometimes leave the helmet off, but that is rare.

Got to have the helmet. Don’t want to be an “organ donor”

Food Run

As for my errands, once the helmet is on my head, it leaves a decent amount of room for various grocery items. As you can tell, I can fit more than just one bottle of Vitamin Water in the seat. In fact, I’ve had as many as 4 bottles, plus a few smaller grocery items like yogurt and fruit. I try not to pack too much in there, but I fit what I can. What doesn’t fit, gets put in a plastic bag and fits between my feet on the floor board.

Vitamin Water for the day, Club Soda and Tonic for drinks at night

Even last minute requests from my wife’s five year old granddaughter fit just fine.

I bought them for my wife’s granddaughter… really, I did

Smaller fruits like bananas and strawberries have room, but I had a request from my wife to get a watermelon on my way home from work. She thought I had my car. But it was really no trouble. Just had to find one that was the right fit.

Yep.. that’s a watermelon

And a great fit. Amazing, huh?

Feline Goodness

Even the cat wanted to get in on the game. I seriously doubt she wanted a ride since she never leaves the yard.

WARNING: Do not store internally

Useful, and Kick Ass Mileage, too

Not just fun to ride, but practical for those short trips to the store for a few items. And with another 106 mpg from my last tank, it really is cheap to run an errand or two.

Scooter Sunday #15

martymankins — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 17:06:54 +0000

Welcome to another edition of Scooter Sunday.

Efficient

Not a day went by that I wasn’t on my scooter. Which means that my car was parked most of the time [except for the days my wife took it to work instead of her truck]. The scooter holds just over a gallon of gas. When I figured my mileage last Thursday, I had ridden 110 miles since the last time I filled up [which was the previous Thursday]. I added 1.07 gallons to the tank. Doing the math, that’s 103 miles per gallon. My car, at best, gets 30 in the city. I normally use mid-grade in the scooter, which is $4.27 a gallon at this time. Unless gas really goes up, it will cost me about $5 a week to fill my scooter. The goal is to only have to fill the tank in my car once a month [which is now $55 per tank]. The weather should be nice through most of September to keep riding my scooter, and part way into October. Not only is that efficient, but it’s also saving me a decent amount of money on gas. Woo Hoo!

The Final Days

Mama cat – just a few weeks ago

Since Friday morning, we have been on cat watch. Our oldest cat, Mama [20 years old last month], has stopped eating and just lays around. It is now Sunday morning and she is still with us, but the time is fading. She has trouble getting up and will lay in the grass for hours without moving. She does not react to cat treats, tuna, milk or lunch meat. We check on her every hour or so, with the exception of during the night, checking on her before we go to bed and when we get up in the morning, although I got up at 5am this morning to get a drink and went out to check her status.

She tries to drink a little bit of water, but it’s all she can do to just stand up without falling over. It is sad to watch her in this state and we know she’s not comfortable, but we are doing what we can to make her last days as good as we can.

That’s all for now

It’s a short one this week, but time with the cat is more important right now. Will post later in the week.

The Nightly Visitor

martymankins — Wed, 21 May 2008 03:08:34 +0000

Every few nights, we have a visitor at our house….

“Hey… need more food out here, buddy”

And this creature cleans up any remaining food, making a mess for me to find in the morning when I go out to feed the cats.

Ready for me to wash out before feeding the cats

Each spring, Mr. Raccoon always shows up right when the all of the snow has melted and the weather is starting to warm up a bit. We think he lives in the canal behind our home, since there are many ducks, rodents and a fox that live in that mostly marshy area.

Our main concern isn’t so much that it’s coming up and stealing cat food. It’s that possible confrontation with one of the cats. Since a raccoon is an untamed wild animal, it may fight back if it finds one of the cats to be a threat. So far, only one of the cats [the oldest, and the one staring into the camera in the photo below] has snapped at the creature on one visit.

Feeding Time

Our defense to keeping the raccoon away is to bring in the food at night… if we remember to do so. Sometimes we don’t, and that’s when the unwanted beast enjoys a free meal and watering.

Fate Happens

But the raccoon’s biggest concern isn’t the cats. It’s traffic. We live right on a busy road and when the raccoon finds no food at our place, he tries another home. Unfortunately for him, that means either swimming in the canal or crossing the road.

Wildlife and city streets don’t mix

So far, we have only found one dead on the road. And I really do hope they find their fate a more natural way. Getting hit by a car isn’t the most pleasant way to kick the bucket, even for a creature stuck in the city.

Any solutions?

We have thought about various ways to get the raccoons back into their wildlife home. But if they are born here in the city, their instincts are not wildlife-driven. They are based on survival in the city. That rules out catching him and driving him up to the mountains. We contacted the local Humane Society and Animal Control offices, asking what we can do. Their two options were actually less humane then excepted: drowning after being trapped in a cage or placed in a large garbage bag while being euthanized from tailpipe exhaust. WTF?

Given those options, we have chosen to bring the food in each night and hope that it goes elsewhere to find food. For those nights we forget, it’s gets a meal and goes home after eating, leaving the felines as they are.